It’s easy to feel like a victim in this world. Especially under certain circumstances.
Being chronically ill, is draining psychologically, physically, and spiritually.
Recently, I began a new treatment for my Crohn’s disease. It’s a bi-montly injection, and it doesn’t seem to be working well, at least not yet.
About 2 weeks ago, right before a trip with my boyfriend to Hawai’i, my computer was hacked into.
Being ill to begin with is hard, and feels like a violation of one’s self.
Having someone invade your personal data, change your own passwords on you, and perform a whole unknown range of activities concerning your credit cards, banking accounts, and whatever else, is hugely disturbing.
I continued to have issues with this, while in Hawaii, and even now that I am home. Though I’ve taken my laptop into a computer repair store, to have spyware, malware, and whatever else is on my computer, removed, I am still being overwhelmed by feelings of angst and paranoia.
I nearly had a nervous breakdown in Hawai’i, as I don’t know much about computers, and couldn’t differentiate between what was normal, and abnormal when it came to pop up windows, and a whole range of other things, on both my phone, and my computer.
I think I am more upset about how affected I’ve been by this situation, than I am by the situation itself.
I’m back home now, with a protective program called Bitdefender currently on my computer. I’m still in panic mode. It’s totally exhausting.
It sort of feels like some stranger has yanked away my journal, read it, and used everything they could against me.
Have any one of you found yourself in this situation before? How did you deal with it?Did it affect your level of trust regarding people in general?
It has had this impact on me. I’ve always been fairly trusting. The whole experience has made me very sad-even depressed.
I’m just hoping that I can calm down, and remember the good people I know. And, believe that most people in this world, are not out to get me.