The Complainer

I am writing this with a sense of humor about myself, and with full knowledge that no one is capable of being cheerful at every moment, of every day.

I’ve recently noted how much easier it is for me to complain, than it is to see the good in my life.

Don’t get me wrong. I have some difficult health issues that make my existence more challenging than I’d like it to be.

It’s too hot. The a/c isn’t working. I have to inject myself with immune-modifying medications, every two weeks. My dinner from DoorDash was delivered late. I’m too fat. I’m getting wrinkles.

I’m certain that I can come up with more negative comments, but will stop now. I do appreciate it when my readers are compelled to complete reading until they get to my very last sentence.

I read somewhere that our minds are wired in a manner that makes it harder to remember the good things that have happened to us, then the bad. Why is it that we humans have brains that function in this manner? I believe the answer to this would require a truckload of research, and a graduate level thesis to explain.

Here are some positive thoughts of mine,

  • I’m not in jail
  • I’m fairly comfortable financially
  • I have a small room in my boyfriend’s very large home
  • I never go hungry
  • I am flying to the Big Island of Hawaii on the 1st of August

I might also soon cease from nearly nodding off when I’m driving. This is something to be very thankful for. My sleep apnea is contributing to my level of insanity. It also is having deleterious effects upon my thinking. No, I don’t have dementia. At least not yet.

I should have my CPAP machine, which will enable me to breath throughout the night, within the next six weeks.

Hallelujah.

I would never condemn anyone for complaining(especially if I considered it to be a valid complaint).

To expect people to constantly bounce around with mindless joy is ridiculous.

I wrote this to remind myself that my life isn’t all about pain. I wanted to remember the things that I do have to be thankful for.

I am constantly shifting and morphing as an individual. Tomorrow, I might be back to my usual, unappreciative self.

And that is completely okay.

5 Comments

  1. I just recently went to a 12 step meeting where the topic was “what I choose to focus on” which kinda pissed me off because I was in a bad mood and it forced me to make a gratitude list LOL

  2. I can understand why. My therapist was telling me today, that I should keep a gratitude journal and write in it every night. It was irritating. Definitely has to come about organically, and just isn’t possible to constantly be positive.

  3. I’m rarely a cheerful ding-dong 😂 I don’t think I’m ‘naturally’ tilted towards positivity either, so it’s a constant work-in-progress. And sometimes, you get in that cycle you write about with complaining or seeing the negative and it all affecting you so much, that you get drawn deeper down in it. Those people that seem constantly upbeat and happy? They’re actually really annoying! And I doubt it’s entirely genuine.

    Sometimes the positives can be teeny tiny or obvious – not being in jail is always a good start! – and there’s always something, even if we have to squint to find those positives.

    It’s a shame it’s still quite a wait for the CPAP equipment, 4-6 weeks seems like a long time to me (there I go, complaining again!) 😉
    Caz xxxx

Leave a Reply to Invisibly Me Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s