It seems strange that a random date makes people think about changing themselves in such powerful ways. Why is it that the New Year inspires us so intensely? And why, is this inspirations is so often short lived.
I realized today that I spent most of the first of January engaging in activities(like watching horror films), which don’t feed me. If anything they are toxic.
How do I clearly underscore my deepest desires and allow them to come to the surface?
In this world, it is so easy to become distracted from what is of utmost importance to me, and to so many others.
When I’m rushing to a friends in my car, impatience is my primary emotion. How do I remember to stay calm and not swear at the driver that cuts me off, or who’s going 20 miles per hour in a 30 mile per hour zone?
Isn’t kindness, and genuine human interaction more important in all of life than anything else?
It is frustrating to know this, in my head, but to not be able to follow through with my actions.
Frequently selfishness jumps in and destroys the progress that I believe I’m making. So often, I simply forget what the most valuable aspects of being human are.
It can be much easier for me to stay in my home, alone, and write and do art, without getting out and making meaningful connections with others.
It is easy to become afraid of exposing one’s true nature, without fearing, or being terrified of being ostracized for being oneself.
I understand we all are human and as a global community have a long way to go. I just wish I felt more held by divinity, and less moved by my destructive emotions.
This year, I’d like to become more active. I’d like to lose weight. I’d like to travel. I’d like to feel happier.
But, when it comes down to it, more than anything else, I want to reach within myself and successfully yank out human kindness. Especially when the people around me are annoying as hell!