It is a very gray day here in Ashland.
I believe I’m gray, inside, too.
The seasons have changed, and with that change, my thoughts have grown darker.
Perhaps I’m just in need of more Vitamin D?
I think I might need to yank out my light box, which if used correctly does help some with seasonal affective disorder.
I have also put back on all the weight I lost while ill-and It seems I’m continuing to get bigger.
I’m someone who eats more, when I’m feeling lonely and depressed.
I also feel at some level that I SHOULD be able to eat what I want. Especially when I feel the way I have been lately.
If you are a smoker, you can stop smoking. A heroin addict, you can(hopefully) stop shooting up. If you are a gambler, you can stop gambling.
But, you cannot give up eating.
I think I need to be in some sort of group, for people who are dieting, other than weight watchers, which I cannot stand.
It just adds to my feeling low, when I see how my clothes are fitting, and how I look in the mirror.
Because I have CFS, and other health issues which are draining energetically, I cannot exercise much. I know this sounds like an excuse, but it isn’t.
So, sometime soon I’m going to be asking for help in dealing with the weight gain, and support so I can actually lose the weight that is burdening me.
I suppose there is no time like the present.
I’ll have to figure something out, here. I can’t do this on my own. I’ve tried repeatedly, and am at a loss.