Judging Those Who Hurt

I know that I’ve lashed out at the New Age movement before, but I’m feeling it’s time to repeat myself.

I read a blog regularly, written by a young woman, who deals with a ton of shit, on a regular basis. She has an autoimmune disease that is disabling, and causes her a great deal of both physical and emotional pain. She suffers from other illnesses that I imagine are probably related to her primary disease, in addition.

She has every right to feel angry, sad, and resentful, given the situation that she is in. 

In this culture, though, we are frequently reminded of how important it is to be positive. People with health issues, and who are suffering in a wide variety of ways, are often treated as if it is their fault.

I can’t blame New Age ‘spirituality’ for causing this, all on it’s own, but I do believe that it is responsible for popularizing this manner of thinking.

It’s very funny to me, how much judgment is placed on those of us who are struggling, from the New Age Community.

Blaming the victim seems to be considered acceptable behavior, from many in our culture.

It feels like an epidemic to me.

This denial of the human condition, this need to be considered enlightened, while at the same time smirking at the suffering we each endure, at some time, or another.

Perhaps much of this is motivated by a need to feel in control. To stamp out the sides of ourselves that experience pain. To feel superior and somehow protected from any injury, due to one’s state of mind.

It’s interesting, too, how when I’ve spoken to people who believe this way, they’ve tended to deny that they are doing anything wrong.

The distinct lack of spirituality involved in blaming the sick, the downtrodden, the unfortunate is glaring. As is the lack of awareness there, and the unwillingness to look at themselves honestly.

I have no problem with people believing what they do, when no one is hurt by their perspective on the world.

I do have a problem, when those beliefs are poisonous, and make people feel worse than they already do.

The truth is, that none of our emotions are separate from each other. Within joy, there is sadness. Within grief, there is beauty. Within peace, there is an appreciation of the pain we’ve endured. In the background lies the knowledge that feelings, both good, and bad, need to be accepted and felt, to the best of our ability, to promote change.

Denial, in the longterm, never works.




  1. Amen sister, say that! We have become a world of assholes and I’m disgusted by it.

    I”m so grateful for the 12 steps. Even though Bill & Bob thought that shit up back in the 30s, it’s still as cutting edge (spiritually) today as it was then. When someone is angry or sad, even when there’s no logic or justification, recovery teaches me that those feelings are valid JUST BECAUSE S/HE IS FEELING THEM. That is enough to make them valid. Recovery teaches me that life isn’t all hunky dory, and that it’s ok to feel “bad” feelings without having to get loaded behind them. I’m right there on a soapbox with you, because I call bullshit on all of this new age pacifist hippy dippy trippy crap that passes for New Age spirituality. I see the 12 steps as being some actual new age shit, with the added bonus that they actaully make people’s lives better.

    Rant over.

    1. I liked your rant, and agreed with it completely. I adhere to the philosophy you shared, that if you’re feeling difficult feelings, you have every right to feel them, and to express them(unless you sock someone in the eye!)

  2. Uh-oh, I think you’re making me cry again!!
    This is spot on and so perfectly and powerfully written. It is an epidemic. It is a societal thing. And it’s painfully sad that things are going in this direction. I’ll reblog this or share it on my Facebook page in a day or two, if that’s okay with you, as I think people need to read it 🙂
    Caz xx

    1. Thank you, Caz. I really value your opinion, and of course was thinking of you specifically when I wrote it. I hate it that we are made to feel badly, when we’re dealing with major suffering, because we have anger, sadness, and other ‘bad’ emotions to express. Yes, please post it. I feel honored! Hugs, Wendy

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