The Horror Of It All!

Recently, I signed up on a popular dating website, that will go unnamed. It is hard enough to meet men who are worthwhile, when you are in college, let alone when you are aging, and a few pounds heavier than you’d like to be.

I have not been having much success. Unfortunately, I paid for a 3 month stint on the site, as it was supposedly less expensive than paying month to month. Had I been clever, I would not have done so.

Most of the men that contact me, write very little about themselves, and are hugely unattractive(in my opinion…). Often, they appear to be nearly 70, and claim they are 50, or younger. Right.

I’ve been on two dates so far. It’s painful.

For the first date, I met a man for coffee, who seemed really intelligent, thoughtful, and warm. I didn’t feel that we had much chemistry, but thought I’d give it a chance. So, after our 2 hour long coffee date, he asked me to get dinner with him later that week. We didn’t set a date.

I spent the morning afterwards, in my women’s group, speaking about how he seemed like a good guy who could grow on me. I started to feel slightly excited about the whole thing. Then I returned home.

He had left a rather long text explaining why he didn’t really want to go out to dinner, after all. How he just feels pressure on these dates. How he doesn’t like online dating, etc., etc.. Did not make me feel perky.

The week before that, a man that I’d met locally, and had gone on several dates with, told me he didn’t want to continue dating.

Perhaps I jumped into the online dating world a bit too quickly?

Then, I went on another date, after the first disaster. This guy was 55, decent looking, and funny. The distressing thing about him, was that he was already in a relationship. He was quite frank about it, which is good.

Apparently, the whole open relationship scene is pretty popular here in Ashland. Of course, most that are part of the scene, call themselves, Polyamorous, to make it sound nicer. I get the sense that more men than women are involved with this movement.

Basically, these guys want fuck buddies. Excuse my bluntness. Mixed in with a tad of resentment…

I’m not excited, to say the least, at the prospect of seeing men who are already in relationships, and just want some extra fun.

I’m also not impressed, thus far, with the dating site I’ve joined.

I’m doing my best to focus on more important things, like nail care, and flossing.

Seriously, though, I’ve been painting a lot, and doing other things that give me a sense of competence and confidence.

I will take myself off of the blasted dating site, as soon as my 3 months are over. I don’t have high hopes, about finding a mate, anytime soon…

Snow is pretty, but it doesn’t motivate you to get outside. Ashland, OR 2/22/2018


  1. Oh no, this makes me so sad because I think the negative experiences with these online sites/apps can really impact your confidence and thoughts on dating and relationships. There are people who can have good experiences, but I think there are a lot of idiots to get through and you may or not get lucky with it all. Please don’t let this shatter your thoughts of the future because you can and will find someone that is a ‘good egg’ and who you can get along with and find that ‘spark’ with, though I’m also a believer that sometimes these things happen when you least expect them too. Sending a hug your way from a fellow singleton (who has been out of the dating game for a long time and who is a hypocrite because not used a dating site nor has any hopes of finding a guy in future!) . xx

    1. Thank you, Caz, you are very sweet. I appreciate your kind words. I totally understand why you aren’t out in the dating world currently. You aren’t a hypocrite. You’re just dealing with many health issues. Best to focus on your own spiritual, physical and emotional nourishment, than on stupid men!

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