Reminders of Things Forgotten

All of us must make choices about where we focus our time and energy.

Because I’m physically limited, and exhausted so often, it makes it even more important to choose wisely.

I was just reading about Hawk medicine, in Shamanism. Apparently, Hawk is all about focusing on your goals, and not being distracted. Hawk medicine is also centered around the ability to see clearly, and with perspective. And, her flight into the skies, signifies communion with the divine. She is frequently seen as a messenger from the Creator.

I find it difficult to prevent myself from frittering away my energy. I play with my phone, way too much. I fiddle around on the computer much more than I would like to.

It takes a lot of self-discipline, and focus, to get the things done in my life, that add to it, and that are meaningful to me.

I’d really like to take the coming months, to learn to be more centered. To value the activities that feed my spirit. To let go of the need to fill still moments with cell phone, and computer noise.

Painting and writing bring so much joy my way. I’m not sure what it is, that prevents me from doing more of it.

Sometimes, just feeding myself, and preventing my home from looking like a garbage dump, is all I can handle.

It takes a great deal of patience, and fortitude to deal with my health issues. To cope with doctors who tell me to exercise, when I’d like more than anything to be able to do so. To be seen as lazy, because I’m overweight.

The gray clouds have parted atop the mountain range behind my home, allowing light to filter down upon the graceful hills. I can see the sparkle of fresh snow, on their peaks. It is quite a dramatic and splendid sight. Raindrops rest in multitudes, on my windows. Many gray clouds still dominate the sky.

This view quiets and inspires me. In each season, it is different.  Every moment the light changes. Very much the way my perspective does.

We are never quite the same, from morning to night, or from year to year. Even though it can feel like we are slipping backwards, into old patterns, and old ways of being, we can never truly lose what we’ve gained in personal development.

The blue sky makes an appearance for a short while. It contrasts so sharply with the gray, and the darkness all around it. And it reminds me of the light that we all have inside of us. The potential for greatness.

It makes me smile, softly. Something comes to mind, within myself that I thought I’d long ago forgotten.

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Grizzly Peak, hidden by the clouds, in Ashland, Oregon.

I cannot put words to this something that I’d thought lost, but it is here. And I am filled with gratitude, because it has made it’s presence known to me.

2 Comments

  1. Excuse my potty mouth, but this is fucking beautiful. It touched my heart; because I can identify with the frazzled feeling that comes with simply trying to adult with chronic illness, and because there is such hope in the blue sky peeking through the grey. Wow😍😍😍

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