There is something about sitting in my house for long periods in the air conditioning that drives me batty. Too hot to go on a walk. Too tiring to deal with the intense heat. Though the a/c is much needed and I appreciate having it, for some reason it saps my spirit. I start to feel like I’m an ant in an ant farm-totally disconnected, in an artificial reality.
I’ve mostly felt like sleeping today. The journey from Hawaii back to Medford, OR was exhausting. Being back, and in a totally different setting is tough for me. I obviously need to readjust to living here.
I made myself go outside to water my flowers, just now. It’s amazing what they can do for me. Stepping from my living room through the sliding glass door and onto my deck is sort of akin to opening a gateway to fairyland.
Many of my plants dried out while I was away, which is sad. It got as high as 115 degrees one day. I had caring friends look after them, but I suppose the plants missed me, and just couldn’t take the heat.
The plants that are alive are doing pretty well. Something about attending to their needs picks me up out of the dumps, and makes me feel more alive. Just looking at the awesome pinks, oranges and yellows of the petals is enough to make me smile.
I’ve been an artist for many years, but I’ve never been able to capture the pure colors of nature. A watercolor painting of an orange flower just doesn’t have the same impact as the real thing. I’d like to think that it’s not just that my art skills aren’t developed enough, that I feel this way.
The color in nature is never garish, in the way a painting can be. Sometimes, when I gaze outside at the scenery, I feel like giving up on creating art completely. How can I possibly compete with the awesome beauty that surrounds me?