Exploration Without Companionship

I was speaking with a dear friend in Ashland earlier today, and she asked me how I’m doing. I had to think about this, for a moment.

When she spoke to me earlier this week, I was enthralled with Hawaii. I was even contemplating moving here.

I’m not sure why, but last night, it was as if a switch got turned on within me. Or a button was pushed, by some unseen force. I started missing the people I’m apart from.

Today, I drove North of Hilo, to visit the Hawaiian Botanical Gardens. It’s a very impressive space, that took me over an hour to explore-and I could’ve gone less quickly through it, than I did. There were vistas above the bay, that were glorious. The entire place is loaded with indigenous, and non-indigenous plants, trees, and flowers. It felt like an untouched jungle, aside from the paved trail weaving its way through the park.

I took many photos of the wonders around me. I could not help but notice the families, and the couples walking behind, and in front of me. Sharing their excitement and joy together.

I’m not complaining about being in Hawaii for the month of July. It has been amazing, and I’m seeing so much. At the same time, though, I can’t help but wish that I had someone with me to appreciate the fecund beauty of this place. It feels sort of flat, exploring this island without at least one companion.

I have over 2 weeks left of my stay. There still is much to see, and I know that I will be fine. I will not drown in my loneliness when it is strong. I will not isolate, and stay inside all day, every day, gazing at my calendar longingly, and marking of the days until my return to Ashland.

I do have the feeling now, that when it is time for me to fly home, I will be grateful to leave. The relative busyness of Ashland, the sometimes snotty attitudes, the intense heat, are sometimes hard to cope with. It might take me awhile to readjust to that. But I will be jumping up and down, and kicking my heels, when I am reunited with my family of friends. I enjoy being alone, but it can become stale. I am thankful that I have a community, in Ashland, to go back to.

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